Okay Now...
This is an entry to all the MOTHER FUCKING "STRAIGHT" JACKASSES in the world. Instead of being ignorant shits, WALK AWAY!
I decided to go to Tar-"GAY" with my friends Danny & Cameron. Danny is a bisexual, homoerotic slut & Cameron is his ex who is a gay, horny, Emo Whore, & hot as living hell. I like hanging out with them 'cuz they understand me & don't judge. Well, it just so happened that today (of all days) was a DAY OFF for BRIGHTON, MI schools. The people in this particular city are HICKS! Seriously! We decided to go to the Guys clothing section & shop around. Cam pulls at my jeans trying to see what size they are. I hit him & say "STOP FAG" which he totally gets horny on! He then strolls away to a different rack & starts putting his hand down his pants, playing with himself. I just shake my head & start walking away. Next thing I know, a Security Guard comes into the section. Danny & I start heading somewhere else & Cam instantly jumps up & yells, "Hey, wait up!".
Some young girls (probably 13-15) give us an "YUCK" type of look. I smile & mouth "TOTALLY", scaring the hell out of them for they started speed walking away! It was trully adorable (JK). We go to the CDs & start browsing around. A girl about 17y.o. w/her MOMMY is there & she glances over at us. Now the funny part, she's actually checking Cameron out. Not realizing at that point that he's not into girls & is gay! Then Cam talks & she scrunches up her nose in disgust. Danny starts laughing like crazy & starts rolling on the ground. The Security Guard (who was still strolling along w/us) shakes his head & then starts walking away. I think he realized that we weren't about to steal or break anything. We're just crazy insane people.
When Danny recovered, we headed over to the musical instrument section. An older gentleman was there looking at the Guitar strings. Cameron & Danny instantly pulled me down an aisle away from the guy & said "DID YOU SEE THAT?". Of course I had no idea what they were talking about & said no. In Cam's terms, "HE HAS THE BIGGEST AIRPLANE IN HIS PANTS! HOW THE HELL COULD YOU MISS THAT BEAUTIFUL MOUND??". I instantly covered his mouth & smacked him. A lady saw me do this & actually stood up for him saying "Don't hit your sister! That's terrible even if she's bigger than you!". Cam nearly split his gut laughing so hard. Danny fell against the shelves & down to the ground & both of them were on the floor laughing really, really loudly. I couldn't help laughing b/c it was trully hilareous. The lady asked what was so funny!!!! None of us was able to talk so Cameron lifted his shirt up to show her that he didn't have tits. She was blushing so hard it looked like she had a terrible sun burn.
In the checkout, the cashier was trying to flirt with Danny, which of course he was flirting back. He let her know he thought she was cute. She just blushed & thanked him. Well, it was nice except that Cameron decided to pipe up & say something. Everyone around us heard him (4 other cashiers, the Security Guard, & about 5-6 other customers). "Daniel, how could you flirt with THAT right in front of me? You said you loved me! Now this? You are such a HORNY BASTARD! She's got huge tits & hips. Look at her, she's hideous!! She has no Emoness to her at all. What the HELL are you thinking? She'd NEVER date you OR go to our shows. SHE'S A PREP!!"
Danny & I just pulled him as quickly as possible out the door before something else happened. When we got out to the car, Cameron jumped on top of Danny & started making out. Some high school guy was walking by & gave me a questioning look. I just shrugged & he motioned for me to go over to him. I did just so I didn't have to watch them make out. He was so cute in a nerdy prep type of way. He asked me if I knew them & I admitted it. Then he asked what school I went to & I told him I'm 21 & don't go to school. His response was amazing. "That's too bad, maybe if I was older & you were interested...." I said "Yeah, too bad!". An amazing end to a terrible straight person gag fest at Tar-"GAY". Danny & Cameron totally harped on me the whole way back home about getting a boy interested in me. "Did you tell him you liked skinny punk rock - emo whores ONLY?" came out of the gay toad's mouth. My response "NO, I don't really care for emo whores since I dated Danny. They turn me off for some reason. OH YEAH, maybe b/c they prefer eachother & not me!"
Lots of Love,
Demon Punk